just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
