i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
