We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
