I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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