chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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