You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
