phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
