how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
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you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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