Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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