can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
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All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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