I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she looked like the before picture.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
