the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i will never coherently bang her
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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