I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
