So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am midnight drunk by noon
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
