who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
