My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
