Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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