I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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