im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
