i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize