I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
