The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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