I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means