Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"