I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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