the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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