Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
