Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i think my tv is drunk
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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