Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
