ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
