I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
