My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
