You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
