I faked an abortion last night.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
