I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
i've created a new STD.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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