No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Of course I have a pirate flag
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
