my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
