Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
