i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
