Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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