I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
