Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
