Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
