Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
A+ Viking dick
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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