I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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