It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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