I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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