Moan for me like Helen Keller
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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