I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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