This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
