Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
