just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
