jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
