And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
