Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
