On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
