i don't plan on having that self control this summer
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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