absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
