So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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