3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
