Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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