I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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