Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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