Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
