He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ladies don't puke and tell
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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