Pregnant stripper...not hot.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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