her vagine was all disorganized.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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