One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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