Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
